Change can come suddenly or gradual. In my life circumstances when I look back over my past to whom I am today. I like me positive and negative. I am a pisces born on th cusp of aries. Which means for me I made many of my decisions based on what I felt was right at the moment. Not always a wise move, finding myself with people or places, or situations that often were uncomfortable sometimes dangerous. No regrets, as I like whom I am today.
I can see where I ignored the warnings and signals that were as loud as being at a railroad crossings with red lights flashing and crossing gate coming down.
Or like the robot on TV series, shouting , "DANGER! DANGER", with it arms flaiIng.
I know truly there's a God, and guardian angel as I am still here!!!! Some what wiser
Just recently, I was thinkinng about someone who I now consider my friend. He and I first joined paths on our life's journey when he became my physical therapist. We would discuss our families, my plans for improving my health, nothing too deep except when he shared his wife and himself were divorcing. I responded marriage is difficult to maintain. I couldn't readily offer him advise based on experience with my own marriage. These gentle conversations went on for about 3 years. My scheduling dates for physical therapy had become less regular until the pandemic. I saw a need for me to increase scheduling my appointments. So I resumed a fitness plan and to alleviate pain within my body at this particular center. Davis Integrative Medicine provided areas to use equipment, chiropractic services and physical therapy. In addition, to maintaining requirements for the pandemic which included limiting the number of clients in attendance. I was extremely hesitant at first but as pain in my body increased demonstrating a need for adjustment, etc. I weighed the benefit of going by the measure of pain I was experiencing, feeling the blues from no longer able to be in school settings. I had been in education for over 40 year. I wanted contact with others versus the threat of contacting virus. I took an educated risk noticing everyone adhering to protocol. I am so glad I did. My physical health improved as well as my mental attitude. This demonstrated gradual changes in my life resuting in positive all over.
The most astonishing for me was my physical therapist and I sharing our past. I didn't realize he had been emailing his blog on eating well and exercising with simple tecniques, then on his earlier life past experiences, for 3 years! I didn't keep up with my emails until recently. Every thing in Divine Order. I discovered his blog while going through my email discarding junk mail. I slowly began to reveal my past with him, some of which I hadn't shared with close family or friends. I, even, discussed my reluctance to become friends with those who were White because of my own past experiences. My physical therapist is White of Greek culture. I slowly began to recognize I had allowed him to become someone I considered a friend. I trusted him enough to open up about being sexually abused, anger I held for others, being abused by my husband.
He allowed me to feel safe enough to share without judgment, comparison "that wouldn't have been me" or "I would have done....",
or "You shouldn't feel like that." or "Don't tell me if you are not done with him."
I will always feel grateful for those moments of sharing because I was able to look honestly at those painful instances. In turn gain a better perspective on my past based on who I am today and what tools I needed to use to bring healing and closure. When I choose to remember those awful moments now, it doesn't bring up negative feelings causing pain. I forgave those involved, and was able to nurture my inner child. I feel PEACE, for me that's heaven. I am glad I took the plunge, was willing to move out my comfort zone to open myself to another. I took a leap of faith. I and landed a friend.
