THE POWER OF TOUCH
I have learned to never underestimate the power of the gentle touch. It’s the little things that can make the most difference. I learned this truth at a homegoing service for another educator, who had a caring, concerned personality who became the 1st Black superintendent, Donald Stewart.
At this particular event a very tall, young man grabbed me and had me buried underneath his shoulder, hugging me so tightly I found it somewhat difficult to breathe. He began whispering how much I helped him when he was a young student in middle school. Thanking me for being his teacher. How abusive his father was to him. He told me that he would rush to my class just so I could gently rub his back or I would whisper in his ear something.
His exact words, “If I can just get to Ms. Yelverton’s class, she will make it be okay.”
When his older brother died unexpectedly, the next day he came to class. Again I would proceed to touch him gently on his back as he leaned on his arms with his head down.
I taught behavior problem special needs students. The gentle touch would often calm down their aggressive outbursts if they were upset, or agitated. Until this young man revealed his appreciation, my being in his life helped him in his home life. I never knew how just my gentle touch of rubbing his back was what he needed and wanted at the time.
This student was always dressed very neatly, and maintained this meticulous appearance. Even when he would do his work everything had to be exact, printing, straight lines. When he had to erase something if the paper became smudged he would tear up the entire paper to start writing all over. I had insisted he turn in the less than perfect work with assurance he could rewrite later. The parent conferences with his father demonstrated concern, authoritarian, and very suspicious of white people. I never suspected him of abuse.
My concern today with these Covid requirements of distancing, how it might affect teachers’ ability to gently rub the back of a grieving child. The power of touch can heal many wounds.
